Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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