she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
