I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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