The maid of honor just puked.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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