How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
