Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
NoShamevember. You game?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
