Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
