Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize