Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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