I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
