Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize