Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
His nipple licking is glorious
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