babies were throwing up all over the place
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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