So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
