Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
