Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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