I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
