shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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