the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
