I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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