you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
