what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
