Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
