So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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