I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
