so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
