i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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