Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
