I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
