I have demons in me.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just forgot I was standing up.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
