Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
