was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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