just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
