This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
