Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
