Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
