I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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