i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
they're like a gay fantastic four
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
