Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize