I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
