he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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