I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All I want is dick and wine.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
