they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
