why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
