i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
