Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
