She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
