$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
How external is "for external use only"?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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