I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
