Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize