Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
