Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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