dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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