let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize