there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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