allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
