I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
