If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
