quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
