it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My vagina is officially offended.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
