whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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