Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
