dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
