Im at strip club and am horny
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize